


The Things I Know Now

by In_agony_and_ecstasy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, College, Eating Disorder Recovery, Eating Disorders, M/M, Polyamory, Trans Male Character, dads, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5294669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_agony_and_ecstasy/pseuds/In_agony_and_ecstasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This is a series of sequel one-shots to my fic The Things I Used to Know. If you're interested in this fic, I'd suggest reading that first to make sense of everything.)</p><p>Eren, Jean, and Marco have come a long way since Jean has recovered from his eating disorder, Marco became a father, and Eren and Jean made up after their rough past together. These are the stories of their lives now, from parenting, to getting their degrees, to getting new careers and so on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thanksgiving Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I may be updating this from time to time with little snippets of what goes on in The Things I Used to Know universe! I can't guarantee I'll update often, or that there will be a lot of chapters. But I miss this universe.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!

Jean 

While Eren and Marco cooked, they had me look after Natalie, which I thought was a pretty sweet deal. Right now, she lay in her car-seat, sitting on the couch. Nearly asleep, her eyelids had started to droop. The sound of the Packer game in the background wasn’t loud enough to disturb her. Only drown out the sounds of water boiling, and pots slamming, and Eren cursing coming from the kitchen. 

I rocked her car-seat gently, while resting my other hand on my own stomach. Habit more than anything. I no longer touched it the way I used to. In order to hide it, to feel how big it was, or punish it for existing at all. 

Now Marco walked out of the kitchen – what used to be solely his kitchen, the place he cooked Mac ‘n Cheese for me the first night I came over, the Mac n’ Cheese I would throw up in his bathroom – carrying an enormous bowl of mashed potatoes and a small gravy boat. Eren came out right behind him with the stuffing tucked under one arm and the corn in the other. Back and forth they went, each carrying out something. Half the recipes Eren had already known how to make – he knew more about cooking than he wanted to admit – and the rest Marco had read online, teaching himself over the last few weeks, including the pumpkin pie which he carried out last. After all the food had been placed on the table, they set out the dishes and silverware. 

Between two chairs, they scooted Natalie’s height-chair, but I doubted she’d be willing to eat the pumpkin baby food Marco had bought just for the occasion. The later in the day she ate, the pickier and feistier she became about it. 

Marco turned to me. He wore a plain V-neck and sweatpants. His hair had gone greasy from being surrounded by a hot oven all day, cooking the damn turkey. When he smiled, he looked almost too exhausted to do it. And he’d never looked more handsome.

I thought that almost every day, at least once a day. But whatever. It was basically true.

“It’s ready,” he said. 

Eren yanked out a chair from underneath the table. “ _Finally_.”

I smiled at him. He’d practically woken up pretending to be grumpy, but I knew he loved this. He loved pampering his boys almost as much as he loved pampering Nat. I knew he’d worked hard on this meal. And he had every reason to be proud of it. My mouth was already salivating.

I’d eat everything I put on my plate. Not just because the meal would be delicious, but because today meant something more to all of us. Last year, at this time, before we had all decided we were happiest together, and before I had recovered, I ate mostly steamed vegetables on that day. Eren couldn’t even visit his family, because he had stayed behind to supervise me. Both of them had been so worried about me because all anyone could talk about on TV was food, and the only thing on my mind was not eating on this holiday famous for all the food. 

I picked Nat up out of her car-seat. She whined and wriggled a little bit, and I huffed out a laugh. Obviously, she needed a rest. I was disturbing her after her already rigorous, laborious, extremely long day of napping and shitting and crying and throwing up her breakfast. Well, to be fair, she was at her Mom’s earlier for the parade, which had been where most of her crying had taken place. I didn’t blame her. Whatever Hitch had to say about the parade, I couldn’t imagine. 

Walking into the kitchen, I eased her into her height-chair, right next to her dad. Marco, we had decided, would be the only one she called Dad. Not because Eren, Marlowe and I _weren’t_ her Dads, but really. Just the idea of her first word being “Daddy” and all of us having no idea which one of us she meant gave me a headache already. 

I sat down, Eren on my left, Marco on my right. Marco had begun attempting to feed Nat, now whimpering, before he’d even put anything on his plate. Eren’s plate was piled high. At the moment, he’d taken out his inulin pen to inject himself with an especially large dose to cover his meal. I always wondered how he just sort of guessed how many carbs were in his meal, and how man units of insulin to take to cover all that, and somehow always kept his blood sugar low anyway.

I smirked at him, “Packers scored against the Bears.”

He made a face at me. “Fuck off.”

“How about,” Marco said – yeah, he used his Dad voice on us. I had yet to figure out if he was doing it ironically or simply couldn’t distinguish anymore between his boyfriends and children. “We say what we’re thankful for, since this Thursday is Thanksgiving and you guys can yell about football on any old Thursday.”

Marco managed to successfully feed three out of five spoon-fulls to Nat while I loaded up my plate. I could tell neither of them wanted me to know they were watching. But both of them definitely were. So, like Eren, I covered my plate. Two dinner rolls, turkey piled on top of my potatoes, next to a few scoops of corn, and probably enough stuffing to serve three people. As soon as I had, both of them looked away, somewhat guiltily to my satisfaction.

When neither of us began giving thanks, Marco spoke. “Alright, I’ll go. I’m thankful for my daughter. Specifically that she’s eating.” Marco eyed Nat like she could understand the sarcasm in his voice. I smiled, because of course, she spit up a bunch of orange goo in that moment, somehow getting it in her curls and covering her shirt. Marco flinched, so some of it probably ended up on him. “I’m thankful Hitch took her last night.”

“Me too,” Eren said, and then threw me a dirty grin. I rolled my eyes, but secretly, if he hadn’t said it I probably would have. The only nights Marco would let all three of us fool around together were the nights Hitch took Nat. And once you’d had a threesome, having sex with just one other person was kind of like – well not jerking off, exactly – but like getting a handjob. It would do, but…it was always a hold-me-over. 

“That wasn’t what I meant,” Marco said – but it was, it so was, he was just too high-and-mighty when he wasn’t horny to admit he was the worst of us. Or, maybe it was because Nat was here. Even if she wouldn’t understand a thing he said for quite a while, he acted like she came out of the womb knowing how to read. So did Hitch. “Anyway. And I’m thankful this semester is going so well. For you too, Jean.”

My semester wasn’t as good as Marco’s of course. But my grades were better this time than they were last semester. Higher level courses, more credits, and still I currently had scored five Bs. 

“And I’m thankful for my two boyfriends.” He turned away from Nat then, because the baby food jar was empty. Frankly, he looked happy to surrender to her power. She giggled then, and slammed her little fists against the height-chair. He smiled at both of us, before picking up his fork and covering his own plate with food. 

“Okay, okay,” Eren said, as if we had both begged him to speak next. “I’m thankful for my job, my home, my family, you two and my daughter. There. Oh! And the game the packers are about to lose.”

“ _Really_?” I deadpanned at him, and Marco deadpanned at the ceiling. But Eren just grinned at me, and I got a flash of what we were like way back when. Before we’d even met Marco. And before he had confessed that he still loved me. And before I got sick. When he would come over on the weekends, and Mikasa and Armin would sit at our kitchen table being too good and too above football, while Eren and I would watch the game. And we’d poke fun at each other. Armin and Mikasa always thought we were really fighting. But our version of poking fun at each other had always been next-level poking fun. Like, throwing-stuff-at-each-other fun, if our teams were playing each other, at least. And I had never minded, not really. Because it was this thing we had, that we understood about us better than anyone else like so many other things. 

And I had that with him now too. My hardworking, temperamental boyfriend, willing to run into buildings on fire just to save someone he’d never met. Sometimes just a cat. And when I looked at him now, I couldn’t hardly stand it or I’d have to kiss him and undress him and touch him.

So I looked at my plate, at all the food I knew I would eat, and most importantly – the food I wouldn’t have a problem eating. The food I _wanted_ to eat. Even now, my stomach growled and it didn’t feel like my throat would close up if I tried to swallow.

“I guess that just leaves me,” I said.

Both of them looked at me with gentler eyes and anxious expressions. As if they thought I’d say something dark, like so many things I had said during my recovery. In their own way, both of them were recovering too. They had to recover from the sight of me at my worst. And had to get used to me, healthy, and happy, and safe, and whole. I knew neither of them could shake the fear that I’d relapse. Really relapse, and start throwing up out the window and throwing food away in plastic bags again. Or worse, lock myself in the bathroom.

I knew I wouldn’t. At least, not to the same degree. I had too much to live for now. A daughter to take care of. Two boyfriends to make happy. A mom, older everyday who would one day need someone there to mow her lawn on weekends and fix her broken fridge and weed her garden or whatever. Two best friends who would need me to babysit, eventually, when adoption papers finally went through.

“I’m thankful I’m here still. And for this food. I’m thankful that I can eat it. That I’m hungry. That I’ll enjoy it. I’m thankful for everyone I’m eating it with.” And despite myself, my voice filled with emotion. “I’m thankful you guys stuck around. And you did so much for me. And that – you know, now you don’t have to anymore.”

As if on instinct, both of them reached for my hands. I held tight to both of them. I realized that this was what we would have done if we were religious types. But I preferred this anyway. It felt right. 

Then we ate. And everything felt normal. Each of us stuffed our stomachs, while talking about everyday things. Eren was working a double Saturday so that he could get tomorrow off. Marco was looking forward to a day inside with his daughter. And looking even more forward to bringing her to Hitch’s house tomorrow night, so that he could see everything Hitch would no doubt by Natalie for Black Friday. Both of them asked me if I was going to the gym tomorrow with Mikasa. I was, but earlier than normal. It was leg-day, which always took longer than all our other days, _and_ we wanted to be done lifting in time to go out and buy her a decent new laptop for Armin. So we’d be up at four. I _wasn’t_ looking forward to that. 

Some cheering rose up from the TV, and I groaned. The Bears had scored. Eren snickered at me.

But I let him, because I had just realized that today couldn’t have been any better. After struggling for so long, and feeling so defeated last year on this very same day, like I’d never get better, I could hardly hold back my grin. I’d made it. I’d gained all the weight back and then some. Mostly muscle too, harder to lose, and harder to look in the mirror and see anything I would like to lose. 

And despite what everyone thought would happen, I still had Eren and Marco and Nat. And I still had my best friends. And we were all happier than most people I had met in my entire life. Suddenly, I felt the urge to write. 

As soon as I finished eating – all of it – I flew to my computer. Neither Eren nor Marco had to ask. It was commonplace now.

The first line I wrote was: 

_Few people in the world have as much to be thankful for as me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Jean is pampered by his boyfriends and Marco has to deal with two man-children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy on year anniversary since I published the first chapter of The Things I Used to Know!!! Have some erejeanmarco sexual tension!

As soon as I got home from the gym I flopped face first onto the couch. Marco heard me groan from Natalie’s room, and walked out with her curled into the crook of his Neck. Her curls bounced in his face and he had to blow them away.

“How was the gym?” he asked. 

I groaned again, making him laugh. The gym was hell today, because it was a leg day. What should be the strongest muscles in my body were actually my weakest, and not just because of my eating disorder. Even Eren said I’d always had really thin legs. The quarterback’s strength was in his arms, back and chest, after all. In high school I practiced as much as everyone else on the team, but in my free tome I focused on my upper body. 

Not to mention I was working out with Mikasa. She might as well be a pro wrestler, or MMA fighter or whatever. I’d never known anyone else in my life in more impeccable shape than her, and she’d been this way for years. Going to the gym like a religion. Barely even sweated anymore. Maybe her pores forgot how to, or she was just like, an earthly angel incapable of human flaws like B.O and delayed onset muscle soreness. I could barely keep up with her, but at the same time, she wouldn’t let me slack. 

The result was becoming a human sponge for the rest of the day. Right now, it hurt to walk. I didn’t even care that I was sweaty as hell and needed to shower. My quads were throbbing.

Marco placed Nat in her baby seat. The sudden drop in elevation made her squeal and wiggle. I smiled. Maybe I’d just spend the rest of the day with her. Life was simpler in her world without protein shakes and heartrate monitors and perfect form. 

Once she was settled, he strode over to me. Sitting on the edge of the couch and trying not to jostle me, he rubbed my back which was sore from Friday.

“Everything _hurts_ ,” I moaned. He chuckled. 

“Maybe you should take a rest day tomorrow.” 

I nodded. My eyelids drooped. As long as Nat didn’t start crying or something, I’d pass out soon. 

“Here,” Marco said, tugging on the hem of my tank-top. “Take your shirt off.”

“But _why_?” I whined. 

“So I can give you a massage.”

That did it. Less than a second later my shirt plopped on the floor. 

“Be right back,” he said. He stood up off the couch and left the room. A moment later he scooted back onto it with lotion in hand. 

The moment his hands started putting pressure on my traps I moaned. Marco laughed and I told him to shut up. Somehow, he was good at this. Eren never had the touch, mostly because you could probably massage his back with a sledgehammer and it would be just the right pressure – so he assumes that’s right for everyone else too. But Marco rotated the heels of his palms across the knots in my back, smoothing them out. And his fingertips roved over my spine and the slopes of my shoulder blades. He could mold my back like clay with those soft hands.

My fingers curled in the couch as his hands roamed lower, much closer to my ass than any part of me I’d call a back. I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Hey, quit it.”

He gave me a mischievous grin before his fingers curled in the waistband of my sweats. He’d taken his shirt off too – probably to prevent his sleeves from being stained with lotion or getting stuck to my slick back. Not, obviously, to make me flustered or anything. 

But he leaned down and I could feel his bangs trail along the plains of my back. His breath right on my spine. Then his full lips kissing right between my shoulder blades – that was actually Eren’s spot to kiss me, but what the hell.

“Sorry,” he said, “You look really good like this. Really – you look so different now, that’s all.”

The mood between us immediately changed, just like I had. Almost obsessively, I looked in the mirror. Not the way I used to when I was sick, or even the way I did before I got sick – because I was vain and shallow and way too confident. 

I looked in the mirror now to make sure the progress I had made hadn’t inexplicably disappeared. Compulsively, walking into the bathroom and tearing my shirt off to see if my abs were still there, if my pecs were still squared and my shoulders were still broad.

Yeah, I’d made some progress physically. And, I’d made some progress mentally too – just not enough.

It always helped to hear it from one of my boys though.

I squirmed out from Marco who’d been straddling me, so I could face him. Placing both my hands on either side of his face, I leaned in and kissed him tenderly for a long moment. We wouldn’t take this in the bedroom – we had Nat to take care of and in any case Marco’s hands were, basically, magic but they hadn’t touched my legs. I still felt like I might have to be carried around all day.

For now, Marco inched in between my legs and placed his back to my chest. He flipped on the TV to something that wouldn’t be too loud or disruptive – Nat had fallen asleep. Neither of us really watched it. I tangled my fingers in Marco’s black hair, and he hummed. Our breathing synchronized, and I slumped into the headrest before falling asleep. 

…

From the tub, I heard the front door swing open and slam shut, followed by the loud thumping of Eren’s boots being tossed on the ground. Marco greeted him from the kitchen. From what I could smell, Marco was making cheesy bread and Spaghetti. The two of them talked for a minute. Then I heard Eren cooing and rattling Nat’s rattle. 

Finally, Marco told him where I was and his footsteps padded down the hall my way. He swung the bathroom door open – I was allowed to keep it locked, but I knew both of them preferred I didn’t, especially when I was in the tub.

I laughed as soon as I saw him. On his way here he’d apparently stripped, and now he stood naked and proud with his hands on his hips. 

I flicked water at him and smirked. Then he climbed in.

“ _Jesus_ ,” he hissed, “You trying to sweat yourself to death?”

“It’s good for sore muscles,” I said. 

“Yeah, but it’s not good for _me_.”

I shrugged. “Didn’t invite you.”

Now he flicked water at me, but I tugged him in by his wrist. We both barely fit in the tub, and water sloshed everywhere. It spilled over the lip of the tub. Eren winced, and I exhaled. Marco wouldn’t be happy about that but – my other boyfriend was home and I hadn’t seen him since the night before and I kind of didn’t care.

So I finished pulling him toward me. We fit together naturally, his legs sliding around me and my own legs hooking over his hips. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he leaned in. I rested my hands on his shoulders. 

“Mikasa told me you embarrassed yourself in the gym.” He smiled, so I knew he was joking. He’d never actually belittle me about anything I did physically. Eren, especially, seemed sensitive to this. Whenever someone said anything to me – not Marco, because to be honest he just wasn’t the type to give someone shit about physical fitness or activity, he hardly noticed shit like that – like, Ymir or Hitch or someone from school, Eren got way too defensive. Even if I wasn’t pissed. And, well, I didn’t care because it was kind of fucking hot when he stood up for me like that. 

In response to his teasing, I rolled my eyes. Then I kissed him, and he deepened it. His hands slid over me, not to comfort me but to appreciate me. I felt the tip of his tongue on my lips and a second later he’d exhaled. His breathing deepened. Between kisses I glanced down, and he’d gotten hard. I pulled away and he sighed.

“Come on,” he mumbled against my neck, “Let’s fool around. Couldn’t stop thinking about you at work.”

That made me blush, but I didn’t give in. I kissed him again. “I’m sore.”

He bit his lip before nipping at my shoulder and chin. “I’ll distract you. Make you feel good.”

I shivered, but again, held back. I knew my strong will would be rewarded. “Hitch is coming to get Nat tonight after dinner.”

Eren bit his lip, this time clearly torn. He was hard right now, but he knew what that meant. With Nat gone, all three of us could fool around. And it was Saturday, so Marco could afford not to do homework, and Eren didn’t have school tomorrow, and I had a rest day so I wouldn’t be getting up early. Any writing I would do tomorrow I’d do in the evening after my homework. So, not only could all three of us have fun, but we could do it all night. Or, we could take out all the junk food and scary movies and curl up in bed together after having sex, and watch movies all night. I didn’t really give a shit. All I cared about was being with them tonight, because Eren had had such a busy work week and Marco was constantly stressed from med school. 

Eren finally nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

He rested his head against my chest and I played with his brown hair like I had with Marco’s. I drained the tub, until it was empty. Just when he thought my bath was over, and he could get out, I pinned him to the porcelain and flipped the cold water on. He fought me on it – and damn near succeeded but I dunked his head under the faucet and it was game over.

“Gotta shock the muscles!” I yelled at him and he blubbered through the water cursing. I laughed, forcing me to lose my grip on him.

As soon as he surfaced he yelled, “Marco! Jean’s being a fucking asshole!”

Marco’s head popped in through the door and he theatrically sighed. “Yeah? So? I’m making dinner.” And then he left. A moment later he popped back in, “And keep your fighting down, I don’t want you cursing and yelling when Hitch gets here.” Then he left again. 

For a moment, we just stared at the door. Then both of us erupted in a giggle fit at just how done and just how fucking immune Marco was to our bullshit.


	3. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Marco surprises his boys, Eren is naughty and Jean is sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! Here's some cute fluff!

At about noon, I finally gave in and woke them both up. If I’d tried to any earlier, they both would have had a cursing fit before burrowing back into the blankets together. Jean might have been an early riser, but he’d been up late last night writing until the am. He didn’t crawl into bed with Eren and me until about four. And Eren, well, he just wasn’t an early riser or really any kind of riser at all.

But I couldn’t wait any longer. Holding both roses in my hand, I padded into our bedroom. The two of them were snuggled close together, under two blankets. Jean’s nose pressed close to Eren’s forehead, causing Eren’s bangs to puff up with each exhale. Jean had fallen asleep in a hoodie, and his hood flopped up over his head and half of his face, so only his nose and open mouth peeked out. 

I grinned. Then I rested one rose on each of their chests, making sure the pedals on each brushed against their noses. Jean squirmed, itching his nose as is his bleary eyes opened. He glanced down, then at Eren, who was still sleeping face-to-face with his rose, then to me. As soon as his eyes met mine, he deadpanned at me. I grinned even wider, and he shook his head. But he couldn’t feign annoyance forever, because a smile crept over his face.

“Eren,” he said, shaking Eren’s shoulder, “Eren! Baby! Wake up! Marco’s being romantic.” 

Eren groaned, but opened his eyes. Then he jerked back. His hand clutched around the stem of the rose like he thought it was a snake, before he realized it wasn’t. I was glad the roses’ thorns were cut off. 

“What the fuck?” he said, “Wait, what?” 

Jean laughed. I kissed Eren and Jean’s lips replaced mine as soon as mine parted from him. 

“Valentine’s Day,” I said. While this was technically our second Valentine’s Day together, last year we hadn’t done much besides have sex and order pizza, so it _felt_ like our first one. Today would be different. I had a whole day planned, and neither of them had any excuse not to suck it up and be sappy with me. 

“You got me a flower?” Eren said. He sniffed it similarly to the way a rabbit or raccoon might. 

Jean sat up in bed, forcing Eren to do the same. 

“Yep,” I said. “And…some other stuff.”

Jean arched an eyebrow at me and Eren looked guilty. Eren said, “I thought we were just. You know. Going to fuck. A lot. So all I got you guys was uh…some stuff we can’t use in front of Nat.”

I sighed and Jean snorted. He asked, “ _Really_?” 

Eren glanced at both of us before shrugging and throwing his hands in the air helplessly. “Yeah. The expensive shit.”

Jean pulled Eren into his arms, and kissed him hard. When he pulled away, he mumbled against Eren’s neck, “God, I fucking love you.”

“Ahem,” I said, theatrically, and Eren wrestled Jean off of him to face me.

“Sorry, I didn’t get something better,” Eren said to me. 

I eased into our bed to kiss him again. My lips lingered on his and I threaded my fingers in his hair. “I’m sure I’ll be thanking you later, love,” I breathed, and he bit his lip. 

“How ‘bout now,” he responded. 

I shook my head, pulling away from him just as he leaned in for more. 

“Nope,” I said. He whined and Jean looked disappointed too. “Too bad. Waited all morning for this. Come on.” 

Groggily, both of them followed me out into our living room.

Jean chuckled again, and Eren’s jaw dropped. Jean said, “You _would_.”

“Um, I _did_ ,” I said, throwing my hands in the air and gesturing to the dozens of heart-shaped balloons crowding the ceiling of our apartment. In the center of our coffee table, a bowl was filled with conversation heart candy and on each side of it were three – yes, I bought one for myself – ginormous heart-shaped Godiva boxes of assorted chocolates. And along the windowsills, candles flickered. On my IPod doc, I had Frank Sinatra playing. I downloaded a number of his songs specifically for this moment, to make it absolutely as movie-perfect, cheestastically romantic as possible. At the table three plates were set, heaping with pancakes dyed pink with red food coloring. 

Eren had been teaching me for months to make pancakes because I was still the worst cook in the house and he was still the best. Plus, his family had a pancake recipe in their family that he’d learned and practiced from a young age. I’d heard a number of pancake eating competition stories held between Jean and Eren as teenagers. I hoped they turned out well, but if nothing else they were pretty and drizzled with strawberry syrup. 

“ _Jesus_ ,” Eren spit. “When did you start doing this?”

“I was at Walmart at six AM buying my first batch of balloons to sneak in,” I said. 

“Jesus,” Jean echoed Eren.

“See, this isn’t fair,” Eren said, “I’ve never dated a girl. So I’ve never had to pull out all the stops like this before. Really, Marco, you should be disappointed in Jean because he didn’t get anything and he dated my sister for five years who should have expected more of him.”

I laughed, but Jean swatted Eren and Eren swore loudly in return, threatening Jean under his breath. 

“Who said I didn’t get anything?” Jean said. 

“You don’t work,” Eren said.

“Hey!” Jean said, swatting him harder. “I write!”

I nodded at Eren, because he should have known better than to say that. Jean had been published twice. Once in a local magazine, associated with his school, and once in a larger national magazine. A lower tier journal, but none the less. One was a memoir from the months of his eating disorder, and one was a creative journalism piece that profiled both Eren and me. He’d shadowed us both for a whole day before writing it for a school assignment, and eventually told by his teacher he should attempt to send it out to a few journals. After his fifth attempt, he was published. 

“Fine, you’re right, you’re right,” Eren said. “I mean, you don’t get paid.”

Jean sighed, but was forced to agree with that. He nodded and said, “That doesn’t mean I didn’t get anything.” He stepped away from us into the corner of the living room we’d put his desk. As always, it was cluttered with papers to the point it surprised me he could find his laptop. Even still, Jean searched for all of ten seconds for his gifts. Which looked a lot like mini notebooks.

“What are those?” Eren asked. 

Jean handed us each one. “Coupon books.”

“ _What_?” Eren snapped, “I’d rather not get anything than –” but he opened it and immediately snapped it shut, blushing. “Never mind.”

Curious now, I opened my own. The first page, in Jean’s half-cursive, half-chicken-scratch handwriting, it said: _One day of diaper-changing free of complaints._

I giggled, and turned the page again. _One free week of little-spoon on demand. No questions asked._

I continued to flip through mine. The closer I got to the end, the dirtier they got. Although, I suspected Eren’s might have been on the dirtier side from the beginning. I chuckled again, before leaning in to kiss Jean deeply. “Thank you, love.”

He shrugged in response, clearly uncomfortable with the amount of praise and attention about to come his way. Eren had already wrapped his arms around Jean from behind, and kissed his neck. 

I asked, in a teasing tone, “Do they expire?” 

Jean blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. “No.”

And Eren snorted. “Like I’d make it to the expiration date anyway. Hey, can I use them now?”

Jean shrugged his permission. “I guess. Which one?”

“All of them,” he said, “Come on. Right now.”

I shook my head, smiling, and followed both of my boyfriends back toward our bedroom. Hitch and Marlowe had Nat in the morning today. Last year she’d still been pregnant and therefore not in the mood to do anything that fun for Valentine’s Day. This year, I promised her that she and Marlowe would be able to make reservations at a nice restaurant and that her dress would be baby-vomit free. They’d be here to drop Nat off around four or five, so we had to fit all the Rated R activities in before then.

As we undressed in our bedroom, I mumbled against Jean’s shoulder, “What about the pancakes.”

Eren parted from Jean’s lips before he responded, “Don’t worry, you’ll be hungrier after.”

Jean nodded urgently, unwilling to speak and pull away from Eren’s mouth. 

I smiled as my lips trailed across Jean’s shoulders and my hand reached out to grasp Eren’s.

Five minutes had passed since the two of them woke up, and already it was the best Valentine’s Day I’d ever had.


	4. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Marco, Eren and Jean get engaged - even if it's just pretend. 
> 
> (Eren's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long guys! Thanks for reading :D

Natalie was old enough to sit up by herself now, so I started giving her tubs in the actual tub, instead of her baby bath. I scrubbed her scalp carefully, familiar with the disasters bath nights became when soap got in her eyes. In the meantime, she pushed fish-shaped sponges around in the water, trying to set them down on the bottom of the tub. When they floated back up, and popped through the bubbly surface, she squealed and slapped the water. I laughed at her. 

I scooped up a handful of water to rinse her head. “So, we’ve known each other for a while now, right?”

She drooled and stared at the ceiling.

“Right,” I said. “And, I’ve been with your dads for even longer. Can you believe that? I’ve been with your dads for _two years_. That’s longer than your whole life, baby girl. That’s forever.”

She gurgled and sort of hopped on her butt inside the water, the way she did when she wanted to be picked up. Apparently, bath time was over. I started to drain the tub. Her eyes widened at the suctioning noise it made. This sound delighted her, as most things did.

“Anyway,” I continued, reaching for the towel I placed on the toilet seat. After, I lifted her out of the tub and swaddled her in the towel. “As I was saying. I think it’s time for the next step, you know?”

She whimpers, because she doesn’t like the sensation of the towel drying off her thick curls. I couldn’t believe how curly her hair was. Marco said his hair was curly too, but between cutting it short and getting it relaxed when he got it cut, he managed to tame it quite a bit over the years. I had a feeling no such thing would happen with Nat. Not only because nothing on the planet could contain her hair, but because she was very protective of it, already. Marco was the only one of us who ever successfully braided the ringlets, or pinned it back with her little glittery butterfly clips.

“I know that it’s kind of silly, isn’t it? Because it’s just pretend. But I don’t think your dads will care. Especially, Daddy Jean.”

At this she snorted and yawned. Baths always made her sleepy. She was such a good baby. We were so lucky. We had so little problems with her. 

“I just wanted to run this by you,” I said. Her eyes drooped shut. “I wanted your blessing.”

She stayed asleep, even as I put on a diaper and a onesie, and laid her down in her crib. 

“I knew you’d understand,” I whispered, bending down to kiss her forehead. 

I snuck into bed, squeezing in next to Marco and Jean. They went to bed early, since they had school in the morning. I wrapped myself around Jean and ran my fingers through Marco’s hair. 

…

On the evening of our anniversary, after we dropped Nat off with Hitch and Marlowe, after we went out to eat, after all the fucking amazing sex, and then the post-sex communal showering, that was when I made my move. 

I shut my dresser drawer, where I’d stored all six of the boxes, and shoved all of them into my sweatpants pockets. I headed out into the living room, where Marco sat against the armrest, and Jean rested between his legs, with his back pressed against Marco’s chest. Jean held the Ps4 controller, scrolling through comedies on Netflix. Marco held his phone in one hand, most likely texting Hitch and asking how Nat was doing. Or just answering all of Hitch’s invasive questions about our night. Or Ymir’s invasive questions about our night. The longer I knew Hitch and Ymir, the more I realized why they were friends.

“Hey, guys,” I said, and it came out a little choked. Already. They both looked up. Jean cocked his head at me, like I had a stain on my shirt or something. Marco’s expression was open-minded, but I thought he’d heard it in my voice too. He was just better at making someone feel at ease talking to him.

“I uh, kind of got you guys something.”

Marco officially looked confused. Jean looked suspicious.

“You already gave us our gifts,” Jean said. He didn’t say it like he believed I didn’t remember giving Marco his watch or giving Jean his FitBit. 

“Yeah, I know,” I said, “But those were just –”

“Decoy gifts?” Jean said, arching an eyebrow. Marco laughed into Jean’s hair.

“This is different,” I said, sitting down on our coffee table. Jean dropped the controller to the floor, and sat up on the couch. Marco did too, and wrapped his arm around Jean.

“You know you already did enough, right?” Marco asked, earnestly. He must have seen how nervous I felt. They could think this was stupid. Or lame. Or maybe it would just make them sad, because it was only for show. Jean might even be angry at me. 

“Yeah, but,” I started, and rested my elbows on my knees. “Listen, can you guys just close your eyes for a second?”

“Okay,” Marco said, and closed them right away.

“Why?” Jean said, and gave me a hard look. 

“Just, please,” I said, “Humor me.”

Jean sighed and closed his eyes. “Only ‘cause you said please.”

I pulled each case out of my pockets. I had to arrange them by color, so that I would give each of them the right ones.

“Hold out your hands,” I said. “Both.”

Marco’s eyebrows furrowed, but he did as I asked, holding his hands out palms-up. Jean did too, and his frail fingers slowly stretched out. I opened all the cases, and arranged them. One in each of their hands, and then one in each of mine. 

“Open ‘em,” I said. 

They did and looked down at all the rings. I could see in their eyes it took them a moment to register what I was doing. Jean held a gold and rose gold ring. Marco held a silver and gold ring. And I held a silver and rose gold ring. 

“I wanted them to look different in some way, other than engraved initials or something,” I rasped. “But they are engraved.”

On the inside of my rose gold one, the initials MB were engraved. And on the inside of the silver one, there were the initials JK.

Marco pulled his out of the cases, gazing at both the rings. He turned them over in the light, watching the glint of the metal. When he slid them both on his ring finger, the fit, though they might have been a bit tight. He rotated them and clenched his fingers. His eyes met mine and he gave me a trembling smile. 

But both of us knew this mattered more to Jean than it did to either of us, so before we said anything, we looked at him to see his reaction.

Jean had taken his out of the cases. He held them both in his palm. They were such tiny rings – I got them in women sizes – and somehow they made his hands look even more fragile. But he slid them onto his ring finger. They were a tad loose, but I figured they’d fit him better when he gained a little more weight, or the summer came and the heat did it. He stared at his hand for a long time, before he looked up at me, waiting for an explanation.

“I know we can’t legally get married,” I said, somewhat self-consciously. Of course we couldn’t. “But I thought we could do something. You know, so that at least, when people look at us they’ll know we’re taken…for good.”

“For good,” Jean echoed. He smiled, but wiped it off his face right away. He cleared his throat, and glanced at Marco and me. Marco was grinning. I didn’t feel that confident until jean lurched forward and kissed me, as passionately as I could ever get him to. He cupped my face in both his hands, but I could only feel the left, and the coolness of the rings against my cheek. When jean pried himself from me – it was an effort, I didn’t want to let him go – he looked me in the eyes. “We’ll talk about how expensive this was later.”

Before I could feel bad, he was mauling me again, pressing me down against the coffee table and sliding his left hand up my shirt. I started laughing into our kissing, and he took this as an opportunity to mold himself to Marco. 

“I love you,” he said to Marco. Then to me, “I love you. I love you both so much I don’t know what to do with all of it.”

“I know what,” I growled, pulling him down by his shirt on top of me. Marco laughed, until I yanked him down too. 

We didn’t even make it out of the living room. 

After, Jean pushed the unfortunate remains of our coffee table to the side, and stacked all of our blankets on top of each other on the floor. He piled all the pillows we owned – a lot, ever since Nat came along – all around us. Marco picked the movies and put one in. I carried out the ice cream and junk food. The three of us huddled together on the floor, and stared up at the TV. Jean sat the gallon of ice cream on his lap and ate out of it with the ice scream scooper. He watched the movie and Marco watched him and I watched Marco watching him. 

I was already used to the rings on my fingers. They’d basically been there since day one.


	5. Making Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco is looking forward to a day off with his boys when the doorbell rings with a surprise from Hitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a busy semester and some writer's block guys! Sorry I've been AWOL so long. Here's a little something though <3

Marco

At eight in the morning I went into the bedroom to wake Jean and Eren up. For the first time in over a month, we all had a Saturday off without Nat. So far we hadn’t made any plans – maybe we wouldn’t do anything at all. I didn’t really care. In a few days, Jean and I would start our spring semester. Nearly every night I’d spend closed up in the bedroom studying terms I couldn’t pronounce yet and both Eren and I would be assisting Jean with anything he had to read for class. 

Christmas had just passed. It was Nat’s third Christmas, and still my parents hadn’t contacted me. They hadn’t met their granddaughter. I used to love Christmas and now I could hardly stand it. Luckily Eren’s parents were starting to get over it, and we went to their place on Christmas day. Ever since Mikasa and Armin adopted twins, they had called Eren once in a while to check on Nat. Apparently, both of their adopted children adopting children of their own had given them some perspective. 

And that perspective was: Oh well.

Slumping into bed next to Jean, I nudged his shoulder. I always started with Jean, because it took a team of two to wake Eren up before noon. 

Jean’s eyes cracked open right away, and he smiled. He propped himself up on one elbow and slid his hand around the nape of my neck, pulling me down to kiss him. He chuckled into our kissing, acknowledging how eager I was already. My hands were sliding over his chest and stomach, down his back, over the swell of his ass – everywhere. 

Not too long ago, he told me that he thought I was more attracted to him now than I used to be because he weight-lifted everyday now. I told him that wasn’t true, but I couldn’t explain why, and that made him even more insecure. When I mentioned that Eren hadn’t changed at all, but I couldn’t keep my hands off him either, Jean seemed to feel better. 

It had nothing to do with the lean and defined changes he’d made to his body. It was about being with him so long. I’d been with the both of them longer than any of the women I’d dated before them. The longer we were together, the more I expected something to go wrong – not with his eating habits exactly, although that was always on my mind. Rather, I expected to get cold feet, and back out of this relationship with him and Eren. I expected to abruptly wake up, terrified once more that I was living my life as an openly gay and polyamorous man with a daughter who depended on her dad. 

So I kissed and touched both of them like I needed to remind myself that whatever the consequences, this was worth it. 

It was, it so was. 

Jean tilted his head back and ran his fingers through my hair. I bent down to kiss him more, and when he pulled away, I huffed out a sigh.

“I love fucking with you,” he said. “It’s so easy.”

I blushed. “I know.”

The other day, when Eren and I were having sex, I pulled his earlobe into my mouth and the moan he let out made me come too early. I had to finish him by blowing him, which he thought was hilarious. When Eren told Jean about it after he got back from the gym, Jean laughed too, furthering my humiliation. 

But he asked, “Marco, how many people have you had sex with?”

“Including women?” I asked, curling my fingers in my hoodie. I had been dreading this conversation for a long time. I didn’t know how either of them would react, since both of them had had sex with three people total. Jean had had sex with Mikasa, me and Eren. For Eren, it was Armin, me and Jean. That was it. 

“Yeah, obviously,” Jean said. Eren turned his head to look at me.

I hesitated. “Uh…fourteen.”

Jean’s eyebrows shot up and Eren whispered, “What the fuck. Why are you so…? Not experienced-like?”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

Eren put up his hand. “Hey, it’s hot. Relax.”

“Because he’s gay,” Jean said. “Marco, you’re gay.” 

I smiled despite myself. “I know?”

“ _Why_ so many though?” Jean said.

“What the fuck,” Eren repeated, “And like, _how_?”

I shrugged. “The women I dated wanted to. They always asked. Some you know, on the first date. So we weren’t even together long enough to do it again.”

“I don’t even know that many people I’d want to have sex with,” Eren said.

“So, you just did? Like that? They wanted to, and you just did?” Jean asked.

I nodded. “It would have been suspicious if I had said no.”

“Yeah,” Eren agreed, lacing his fingers behind his neck. “Girls can get away with that shit, but guys are kinda fucked.”

“Still, though,” Jean said, sitting down next to me on the couch. “That must’ve sucked.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. It really did. Which was exactly why I didn’t really count any of my awkward encounters with women. Even if it hadn’t felt all that different, I spent the whole time trying to think of what straight men would do and what straight men would find attractive and how straight men would touch women – all while fantasizing about men, so that I wouldn’t become so turned off I couldn’t continue. 

Finally, Jean kissed me again and I pressed myself against him. My heart was racing, my breaths were quick and adrenaline was pumping. I rolled him over onto his back and he wrapped his legs around me. Since he slept naked now, we focused on unbuttoning my shirt and jeans together. 

“Wanna wake Eren?” he asked.

“I want Eren to be awake,” I said, “But definitely don’t want to be the one waking him.”

Jean snorted and kissed along my neck. “We have the whole day, so.”

“So,” I agreed.

But the doorbell rang. 

I groaned and rested my forehead on Jean’s chest.

“Goddamn it,” Jean said.

“We’re not home,” I said.

Jean nodded. “We’re definitely at Mikasa’s.”

“Babysitting.” I added, “And the twins are crying too loud to hear phones,” because my phone started ringing in my pocket. 

The doorbell rang five more times. Both Jean and I knew exactly who it was.

“Hitch,” we said together. 

Eren stirred next to us. “What the fuck! Marco, if she wasn’t Nat’s mom I’d push her down the fucking stairs!”

Then he glanced at us. Jean was completely naked. I was shirtless, and my belt was unbuckled. My jeans were halfway down my legs. 

Eren wore sweats. He sighed. “Guess I’m getting it. Only one who ever covers up his dick ‘round here,” he grumbled under his breath. 

“Don’t push her down the stairs!” I yelled as he left the room.

“Or do,” Jean muttered.

We kissed again, but not as urgently. The mood had been butchered. I wanted to savor whatever last seconds we had before we’d have to face the day. 

And then two sets of feet stormed into the room.

“This is what you couldn’t answer the door for!” Hitch shrieked, and I damn near fell out of the bed pulling my jeans back up.

“Jesus, Hitch! Don’t you ever knock?!” I yelled.

Jean covered himself with the blankets and handed me my shirt. I slid it on but didn’t button it. I was too pissed to care.

“Not when there’s a _doorbell_.”

Eren stood close behind Hitch, holding Nat who was sucking her thumb and half asleep. “Sorry, babe, she just kinda – ” Eren started. 

“You’re gonna apologize to _him_?!” 

Eren winced. Nat didn’t notice the yelling. She was way too used to it. “Barged in,” Eren finished. 

I buttoned and zipped my jeans. “Hand me her?”

Eren stepped in the room and gave Nat to me, which woke her up. “Hi, Daddy,” she said.

“Hi, babydoll,” I said, kissing her forehead before returning my attention to Hitch. She was grinding her teeth. Her hands were placed on her hips. Surprisingly, she wore leggings and what I assumed was Marlowe’s sweatshirt. No makeup either. Her hair was frizzed out in every direction, almost as curly and out of control as Nat’s was on a regular basis. “Are you gonna tell me what this is about?”

“Oh, now you want to know?” 

I sighed. “Come on, Hitch. Quit with the spiel and just tell me.”

“ _I_ have the flu. _I_ don’t want Natalie to _get_ the flu. Because _I_ am a good mother. Do _you_ want her to get the flu?” She stared pointedly at me, waiting for my response. 

“Of course not – Wait, what?” I asked.

“You’re the pediatrician. You take care of her.”

“I’m not a pediatrician yet.”

“You’ll know what to do when she –”

“She’s not sick yet.”

“Yeah, but –”

“What makes you think you’re sick, anyway?” 

“Can’t keep anything down,” Hitch said. “Woke up three times this morning to hurl.”

I looked her up and down again. She didn’t look sick. Sure, she looked like shit compared to how she usually looked, but not sick. She wasn’t pale or clammy. 

I handed Nat back to Eren who stood up and walked her out of the room. 

“Can I feel your forehead?” I asked Hitch.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes,” I said, and felt her forehead without waiting for an answer. She didn’t feel warm either. 

I swallowed. “Uh…Hitch? Didn’t you uh…get the flu shot at my school, like…a week ago?”

“Yeah, so? You gonna try to tell me that a vaccine is causing me to be _this_ sick?” she asked. 

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think you’re sick.”

“What? Of course I am. What else could throwing up mean?” 

I glanced at Jean, who mouthed, “Yikes,” and rolled over in bed, as if to go back to sleep.

Then I looked back at her. I placed my hands on her shoulders. She was shaking a little and I needed her to be calm. “I think you know what it means.”

Her lip trembled but she still looked mad. “I’m not.”

“Have you checked?”

“No, but I’m not.”

“Why not?” I asked. “What would be wrong with that?”

She looked away from me then and covered her face. “I just had Nat, Marco.”

I pulled her hair out of her face. “I know. And she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, right?”

She nodded but kept crying. “I’m just not ready. Marlowe is, but I’m – I –”

“So you’ve talked to Marlowe about it?” I wiped away a couple of the tears she missed. 

“Yeah. He thinks we’re ready. He wanted to start trying, so we did.”

“And you aren’t ready?” 

She trembled and hugged me too tightly. Tentatively, I held her back. 

“I don’t know! That’s just it, I don’t know! I didn’t know with Nat and – and I thought I would know the second time around. I thought I’d be ready and not so scared but –”

“Hey, hey,” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Nat’s turning out just fine and Marlowe’s a good step dad. I’m sure –”

“It’s not about him.”

I felt stupid for not getting it earlier. I leaned back so that she would have to look at me. “Hitch, you’re a great mom, okay? You never have to worry about that.”

She sniffled. “But I do. Constantly.”

I chuckled. “So do I. I think all parents do.”

“You do?”

“ _Constantly_.”

She smiled and sniffled again. The smile looked a little forced, but I thought she felt better. 

“If you want, I’ll take Nat today. Go home and rest. Wait for Marlowe to get home. And then talk to him about it.”

She nodded. I walked her out of the room with my arm around her shoulders. Eren gave me a questioning look, which somehow clearly meant Is she taking Natalie with her? I put up my hand signaling for him to stay where he was. 

“No, I’ll take her,” Hitch said.

I glanced at her. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I want her with me.”

“Alright,” I said cautiously. Eren stood up. He went to hand Nat to her, but I took Nat in my hands. Now that she was here, I didn’t want her to go. I felt guilty for being relieved Hitch had her earlier. I kissed Nat’s forehead and tidied her hair. “Can you say ‘bye daddy’?” I asked.

I knew very well she could. She could complete sentences now. But she chose not to most the time. She wasn’t shy, exactly, but she wasn’t talkative either. Yet, anyway.

“Bye, Daddy!” She yelled and added, “Bye, bye, bye, bye!”

I laughed. “Bye babydoll. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Seeyoutomorrowokay,” she repeated all at once. 

Hitched walked out the door and instructed Nat to wave, which she did. Then Hitch added, “Thanks, Marco.” She shut the door gently behind her.

I let out an exhausted sigh. Being around Hitch always drained me.

“Another baby in the family, huh,” Eren said. 

“Looks like it.”

“Sweet,” Eren said. 

“Marco! Eren!” Jean yelled from the bedroom. “Get your asses back in here! I’m horny and cold!”

I laughed before following Eren back into the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're curious, the URL to my writing-only blog is the-only-one-in-color@tumblr.com


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